"When you live in your own truth and know who you really are from the inside-out then it is easy to find connection, purpose, and true happiness in this world” - Jean Shinoda Bolen
Disconnection from one’s own heart can block connections with others due to limited emotional awareness, empathy, compassion, and tolerance for emotional intimacy. This leads to many unresolved conflicts in interpersonal relationships, since the solution may exist outside of their current realm of consciousness. The solution to any problem is concealed within the problem itself, but many don’t even realize there is an emotional or heart-blockage problem to solve for, as this region went offline long ago. I believe our society suffers from being chronically disconnected from their hearts and thus disembodied (or, not in their bodies). In order to find ourselves, we must dedicate ourselves to finding our truth which exists in the heart and body, as much, if not more than in the mind. Most often, our truth lies in the heart space. This means freeing ourselves from the shackles of self-deception that can linger when we consult only the logical mind.
Many times, the inability to be vulnerable or to love without reservations comes from an unintegrated, fragmented, or wounded heart. A wounded heart might extend a helping hand out of a sense of duty, guilt, fear, or obligation, rather than authentic desire. A wounded heart that gives for the wrong reasons might ask “what’s in it for me?” whereas an open heart will give, quite literally, out of the kindness of their heart. An authentic, open-hearted action can take on many forms, such as lending a listening ear to a friend or leaving a neighbor fresh baked cookies at their doorstep, just because. The heart needs no explanation. Hence, the saying, “the heart wants what the hearts wants.” The healthy heart needs no reason to do a random act of kindness. It receives through the act of giving alone. There is no drama about who’s turn it is to do what, and no scoreboard keeping a tally of who did more. The heart is non-judgmental, neutral, and compassionate without veering off course into codependent territory. The heart can connect intimately with others without taking responsibility for them, as it has compassion for others while still maintaining a firm sense of its own boundaries.
The ultimate goal is to keep our hearts open, for our own joy and satisfaction, despite past experiences of heartbreak or strife suggesting otherwise. Heart-centered living is a practice, like any other practice (think: gratitude practice). Any time healing hurts, anytime you hurt, return to the heart, return to love, and recenter yourself through your breath. Studies have shown that this creates coherence between your mind, heart, and nervous system. Another easy method to synch up your mental and emotional spheres, and thus create heart-mind coherence, would be to listen to “bi-lateral music” (with headphones for best results). You can listen to this music while you work, study, or tackle chores, while simultaneously soothing your nervous system, cleansing your energy field, and generating more positive emotions.